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Alien pelvic exam

Posted on Monday, April 20, 2009 in humor

Did this title get your attention? This particular string of words got mine when I was looking at stats for how people are finding my blog. “Alien pelvic exam” was a search string used not once, but twice, to find my site. I have to wonder why someone is looking this up.

Have aliens now given up on the anal probing? Have they learned all they can from investigating our colons? Do you know that I was not able to determine from a simple Google search just how long anal probing has been going on? That seems like important information we should have on hand.

Have they moved on to the pelvic exam? Was my unknown searcher or searchers worrying about this or hoping for it? It would really help to know if the searcher was male or female. I mean I hope it wasn’t some guy hoping for a YouTube video.

But this has got me thinking. Do you think my insurance would cover an exam by an alien ’cause I’m really tired of going to my doctor and getting a postcard the following week telling me that I came up positive and need to schedule a colposcopy. I think I might have more trust in the results of an alien testing. And maybe it wouldn’t involve a drive across time or waiting in a room full of sick people for my name to be called. Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t even involve the stirrups and I wouldn’t have to decide whether it’s more or less ridiculous and humiliating to wear my socks or take them off. I’m sure the entire process would be more comfortable with an alien.

Even though Google let me down on the history of probing and on any good hits for “alien pelvic exam,” I did learn that “recent studies have shown that the majority of people who have UFO an abduction experience also happen to have RH neg blood.” Since I’m pretty sure I’m not in that category, I’ll probably have to schedule my regular exam with my regular doctor. Damn.

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