RSS Feed

Pre-depoyment stress

Posted on Tuesday, March 22, 2011 in Army wife, Military Spouses

In no particular order …

Predeployment stress indicator #1

Refusing to commit to memory any dates associated with his deployment. It must be something like 6 weeks to his annual training which immediately precedes deployment. In my silly mind the date is sort of associated with the royal wedding in England, although I’m sure that’s wrong.

Predeployment stress indicator #2

Jealousy over how he gets to plan for what he’s going to pack and buy, e.g., new laptop, board games, video games, books on Kindle. I’m trying to plan on how to keep occupied at home. For some reason his planning seems a lot more interesting. I’m only planning trips to FL and Vancouver to visit family and friends I’d rather see with him. When he was in Iraq I only got to go to Buenos Aires for a week. (Jealously isn’t know for its rationality or logic.)

Predeployment stress indicator #3

Wanting to pick a fight with him. So far I haven’t done it, but I’m angry that he’s leaving and he’s the only person around to take it out on. I also feel pride, or assume I”ll feel pride once I’m past some of the anger and resignation.

Predeployment stress indicator #4

Beating myself up (and HabMoo, too) about stuff we should have done last fall. We should have painted the trim. We should have cleaned out the shed. Now I’ll get to take responsibility for that.

Predeployment stress indicator #5

A desire to push all his stuff out the door. I think what I really want is to take over all the house and make it just mine so I won’t notice his absence later. Plus I’m one of those people who rips the band-aid off so I can marvel at the mess underneath.

Predeployment stress indicator #6

Jealousy that he’s going to be surrounded by friends and people who understand what he’s going through. I’m going to have to seek out my friends (hard for an introvert like me) and most are not going to understand what I’m going through.

Predeployment stress indicator #7

Wanting to make lists of everything we should be doing in preparation.

Predeployment stress indicator #8

Avoiding the lists I’ve already made. Anger that they aren’t completed already.

Predeployment stress indicator #9

Anger that he’s not going to be around to take my annual picture with my sister’s goat kids. I love those photos. He’s going to miss a lot more events, like Xmas and tax day, for instance, but those are too far away and too painful to think about now.

Predeployment stress indicator #10

I’ve begun to wonder about how I’ll cook for just me. It seems like an awfully big chore–even worse than cooking for two.

Leave a Comment