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Confessions, aka TMI

Posted on Friday, August 19, 2011 in Me

I’ve had a sinus infection and cold this week. After I ran out of tissues (I only use Puffs–one of the only brands to which I am loyal) for a while I just let my nose just drip onto my t-shirt. Once that made me feel too gross I used clean cotton underwear to collect my snot.

This is one reason why I should not be allowed to live alone.

After realizing that no one was going to see me in my underwear for almost a year, I went out and bought granny underwear. I am so comfortable right now. Nothing riding up, nothing falling down, nothing too tight. It was so comforting to have granny panties to wear while I was sick. (I recall Mom complaining when I was around age 6 that she and I were wearing the same sized underpants. I love feeling loose and free, but I worry that I’ll wet my pants if I don’t have underwear on. It could happen; it’s too risky to try.)

I sometimes don’t bother with a spoon when eating fruit out of a bowl. I just suck the stuff into my face. It’s fruit. Fruit is meant to drip down your chin.

One reason why I should not eat in front of other people.

I am once again playing the games Phantom Brave and Dawn of War: Dark Crusade. I can play the same game for 100s of hours. I am not only a cheap date, I am also a cheap gamer. This time around I am playing Phantom Brave with only the Putty characters and I just won. That does not mean that I will stop playing, however.

I am a slave to food in my refrigerator. Right now I must get through the giant tub of yogurt, freezer jam a friend gave me, some cheese I bought by accident and which contains peppers I do not like, and the damn celery I bought when I must have been possessed by an alien who wanted to learn about how chewing works. I have made three meals out of a Chipotle burrito even though the guacamole was brown because I could not throw it away. Yesterday I ate the last of the potatoes and felt great relief. I blame my mother for teaching me this food guilt and theĀ  onus of food responsibility. It drives HabMoo crazy.

I know what one reader is thinking. “But you have salad dressing that’s over 2 years old!” So what? I will not be cowed by condiments! Things in bottles have no power over me. Unless it’s shampoo. I will be so happy when I use up my current smelly shampoo and can start of the good stuff.

I eat stale foods. As a wedding gift, a friend of mine gave me an open bag of Cheetos because I LOVE stale, orange, puffed cheese stuff. This week I finished a bag of stale chips. (Food really doesn’t have to be cold in order to make me feel obligated to eat it.) This I blame on the neighbor lady next door when I was growing up. Her kids and I would charge into her kitchen and beg for food. She’d respond by giving us whatever she wanted to get rid of. So I have clear memories of eating stale Saltines and stale coconut flakes.

I argue a lot with my cats. I always lose. I blame my mother for that. She used to sit at the very edge of her chair during meals because our cat, Penny, would be sitting on her chair. Mom never wanted to bother her or make her get down. This annoyed my father, who in later years, would turn the AC on for their Himalayan cat.

I don’t always read all pages of a book. For example, right now I’m reading one of the Game of Thrones books and I skip right over the chapters about characters I don’t find interesting. When I re-read Lord of the Rings, sometimes I skip past Tom Bombadil.

There are people who actually respect me and love me. Go figure. For them I am grateful. I clean up OK when necessary. Observation changes the one observed. I need to be watched.

  1. I love you very much, I think your awesome. Quirks make people interesting! Although I’m glad I didn’t see you blowing your nose in your underwear.

    Do Hanes bikini briefs count as grandma underwear, you know the kind that you buy in a pack of 6? I don’t know.

  2. Your = you’re, right?
    I love you, too. You’ll see worse of me when you’re taking care of me when I’m 90.

    I think the Hanes would count if they weren’t bikinis. And if they were a size larger than what actually fits.

  3. Kind of a Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle of behavior. If you hadn’t have written this stuff, I’d never know! And maybe that’d be for the better…

  4. I typically wear my house dresses without undies and have never wet myself. Give it a go!

  5. I eat dry cereal the way you eat fruit. And, that freezer jam is passed its expiration — seriously. I think it’s good for 10 days. THROW IT AWAY ( I won’t be hurt). I will come throw away the two year old salad dressing, if you want.

  6. “I will not be cowed by condiments!” I love you, K.

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